Protected: First there was Bargaining, then the Depression then…. we can all just die and Be Happy

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Updates on my Existence Part 3

I was really down during the first three weeks of April. It was because the night after my graduation, my father and I had a really huge shouting match. I planned to leave the house and spend the whole summer reviewing with Neil and his girlfriend [as i partly mentioned here]. I already paid the house and the reservation in a review center as early as late February. But for no reason, my father retracted his decision. I didn’t have anything against the review center here, I just felt bad because I have already laid a two months worth of plan in my mind and his abrupt change of heart really frustrated me.

I didn’t have a reservation in the Review Center nearby, so when I enrolled, they put me in section two. I know some of the people there but I wasn’t really close to any of them. It was really difficult for me. Everyday was a torture until the time came when I was already doubting my self. Thoughts of boycotting the review and even the June board exam visited me everyday. My heart was so heavy, and even though the lecturer was really good I decided to cut the class last April 18.

They say that sex is the best stress reliever, but since that cannot be arrange at the moment, I settled for a second Plan. Last April 19, I decided not to attend my class anymore, the next day [April 20] I dropped by the section 1’s building and asked the administration if I can be a regular student there. Some of my friends are there. Angelo, Hanzel, Lallaine, PrinsesaMusang, Asase, and even some of my classmates way back in Freshman attend the class. I felt so relieved.

Though they are two subjects ahead of me, I was still able to cope. They were really supportive. Yesterday, since my father left for Manila to attend my sister’s open heart surgery on Monday in Philippine Heart Center, I went to Lallaine’s house and asked her to teach me. I was always among the top three in the exams in section 2, still, my scores are considerably miles away from Lallaine’s scores who is always in the second or first spots here in section 1 [my new section], and I am really happy that she said yes when I asked her to give me a tutorial. She joked that her tutorial fee is really expensive while feeding me with their own version of halo halo (halo halong fruit cocktail). She’s one of the nicest people on earth… really.

T’GSH

Writing this blog helped me a lot to cope with stress , though I really couldn’t say everything. Sometimes I just post screams as a form of catharsis and whatever burdens me inside miraculously vanishes and I’m back on track again. One thing that I really like about blogging is that I stop thinking about my problem the moment I click the publish button on my screen. Even the mere pleasure of reading other people’s blog has in some degree helped me in combating anxiety.

However, I find it harder now to ease my self just by writing. I mean it doesn’t work for me anymore.

CHANGE TOPIC

This morning, in a bus, I met an old classmate from Grade School. She was on her way for a job interview. We talked for a moment about some stuff until the subject change to my Board Exam Review. A guy who was sitting in front of her seat overheard us and joined our conversation. It didn’t take long until he was already talking about his own board examination. He just recently passed the December 2007 board exam. He started giving tips and inspiring words, then he said, “Kung gusto mo puntahan mo ko sa bahay ko, ” he gave me his address and told me that I can borrow his books gusto raw naman nya kasi akong pumasa talaga. Though we came from the same university it was the first time that I actually met him, I haven’t seen him in my four years of stay in college (kahit isang beses), so I observed his gestures if he was lying. He was constantly looking at his left side… in Psychology the Left and the Front sides of the head are the seat of logic, therefore there is a big chance that he was telling the truth (the Right and the back sides are the seat of imagination, therefore a person who is making up a story will probably look at his right side or nod his head backward).

I was already praying a thank you prayer to God for sending me this person. I was like, “Jesus,” I am more comfortable in calling God Jesus, “Did you send this guy to prove me that you won’t let go of me?” Hanep! So I asked him, “May book ka ba ng Pediatrics, wala kasi ako nun?” Then he was like, “yun na nga eh, marami kasi akong kaklase dati ang di nakapasa. Eh alam nila self-review lang ako. So marami ng nakapila sa books ko baka swerte daw.” That’s when I realized that this guy doesn’t really care if I pass or not. He just wanted to brag. I looked at his shirt, may logo ng UP tapos nakaprint, UP Tangway, an organization of Bataaenios in UP Diliman. Sa UP siguro sya nagtapos nung unang course nya… second courser kasi sya at kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas hindi pa ring sya makamove on.

XET TALAGA! Lumaki tuloy yung butas ng ilong ko. Hay ang daming mayabang sa mundo. Kaasar.

Sigh

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)[?]

The Bottom Line

Some minor setbacks in a project can be overcome if you rely on your warm charms.

In Detail

There could be one or two people today who cause you to have some minor setbacks in a project. If that happens, you can rely on your charm and empathy to nullify the negative effects. It will be possible to disarm problems and get these folks on your side if you see thing from their perspective. This is not a day to take ‘no’ for an answer. It’s a day to listen to someone’s arguments and then educate them about what you know to be a better way. Verbal communication will be your secret weapon.

My day started weird, now I am feeling weird.

I checked my horoscope and here what it says, “It’s a day to listen to someone’s arguments and then educate them about what you know to be a better way. Verbal communication will be your secret weapon.” This is wrong. Actually, it is the other way around, I should stop talking and start listening. I think Im in a big trouble now. HAAAAYYY… I wish I can tell you the whole story.

Updates on my Existence PART 2

hello.
musta ka na?
nu gngwa mo ngaung summer?

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What ’s up y’all!
I am very sorry for not keeping in touch.
Sana kilala mo pa ako…
I’m hoping to hear from you.
you can also contact me through my cellphone, here’s my number: 0922*******.

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how are you?

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kmusta na??

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