Amoy Pekpek

Lallaine and I boarded an air-conditioned bus on our way home after our 2-10PM duty last Wedenesday in San Fernando. It was nearing midnight and the bus was almost empty when Lallaine and I sat two seats away from the driver. Interestingly it was a lot warmer there and the television’s audio was more audible.

We were talking about something as commercials came flashing in front of us. I was talking when an ad caught my attention… the Carefree Sanitary Pad where a pretty girl in a blue dress tries to get through a glass door but she was mobbed by eight “cute guys” with the extra-giggly voiced narrator saying, “if you think getting close to one cute guy is exciting? Imagine getting close to eight?!!” Then the girl dropped her things and the “eight cute guys” hurriedly went down to get them. The men were more than too happy to give back her things but then she worriedly asked again, “has anybody’s seen my ID?” Then the boys dropped once more. She smiled really slily because non of the guys smelled anything because she was wearing Carefree eight-hour fresh….

I sniggered at Lallaine and told her, “Yung babae tuwang-tuwa pang inaamoy sya dun.” (the girl seems to enjoy being smelled down there.)

She glanced at me and raised her eyebrow so I defensively said, “that was the rationale of the ad, wasn’t it? That no matter how hard the guys sniff at you they won’t smell anything.” She didn’t say anything but she didn’t look the other way… meaning she didn’t like me to stop the conversation therefore I told her about my experience in the ER last week.

A woman walked in with her 8-month old baby. I assisted the pediatrician as she pushed the needle of the IV to the little boy’s hand. As the doctor pricked the knuckle of the little boy, the baby wiggled and cried loudly. He was squirming so his mother and I had to stop him from moving. That was when the mother stood even closer to me and I smelled her. I said to Lallaine, “Sa OB-Gyne ward ok lang mag-amoy pekpek ang nanay pero dun hindi. Hindi sya siguro naghuhugas.” (It is natural for women to smell like their external genitalia in the OB-Gyne ward but in the ER, no. Maybe she doesn’t wash her self.) Lallaine still didn’t reply so, as a proof, I said that no matter how hard the doctor wipes the baby’s hand with wet cottonballs, the arms still remain dirty (even the cottonballs that were used on the 10th and nth times still turned black- that’s how thick the dirt was on the little boy’s knuckles). I was like, “How would an eight month old baby could have sustained that much of dirt anyway?”

She seemed really amused although she was intent not to agree with me. So she said, as she reclined back to watch the TV, “Amoy pekpek pala ha… akala ko sweet ka, salbahe ka pala” (So it smelled like a woman’s sex organ… I thought you are sweet, now I know you’re mean). Then she smirked really hard as I looked at her incredilously.

[Watch the commercial here]

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