ASS the Story Goes

I just heard from my classmates about the seminar that I attended this morning in Olongapo city. I really do not know who among my classmates were coming, all i knew was that they were planning to meet at the bus terminal before 6 AM. Since my cellphone is broken and i handed it over to my sister to pay for the fixing (She’s by the way in Manila right now), I did not have any kind of communication to my classmates.

I was alone at the terminal at 5:30. At 6:30 they still were not around, I was already planning to go by myself until Junessa came. She told me that all of them were waiting in the Victory Liner bus terminal. I asked why she went straight to this terminal, she said she was expecting that they were not riding the Victory Liner. I told her God sent her to me.

We decided to ride on a tricycle and since i didn’t have any spare coins, I asked her if she can just pay for my fare then I’d just pay for it when we finally get back. She agreed. She opened her  purse and took a green, folded paper with the word “OTHERS” neatly written on it. She said, “Dapat lahat budgeted.” (Everything should be budgeted.). And to my surprised she opened the paper and took a twenty peso bill from it, she had all her money tidily sorted in different papers with different labels. I laughed loudly and said, “Obsessive Compulsive ka talaga. May malala kang annal fixation. Hahahaha.” (You really are an Obssesive Compulsive. You have a severe Annal fixation. Hahahaha.)

I told this to my classmates and they were really amused.

Somehow, Junessa’s expectation  that we would not be riding the Victory Liner came true, the Victory Liner bus would not go until 8 so we boarded a bus from the Ordinary bus Terminal.

The ordinary bus is really old. It has dilapidated seats and a falling ceiling. The windows are wooden that you can raise up to close and to put down to open. I sat at the second farthest seat while Junessa sat at the my back. All the windows were open except hers. She was muttering something so i thought she needed help opening the window, until she said audibly, “Ayaw ko nang walang bintana.” (I do not want a windowless seat) as i opened her window. I still didn’t get what she meant until she said, astounded, amazed, surprised… “Ahhh ganun pala buksan yan. Akala ko dingding lang” (so that is how to open that. I thought it was just a wooden wall.) We all laughed again.

Fast forward, we were riding  a bus, this time a Victory Liner, from Olongapo. I was pretty much exhausted from listening to the overly elementary nursing seminar (the seminar turned out to be a seminar for caregivers, so everything that was tackled was for us were just the basic in health care giving. I didn’t learn anything new. I still feel bad for the 450 pesos actually.) Leslie sat beside me when my seatmates, an old lady and her child, exited the bus. She was sleeping when I again remember Junessa’s “annal fixation.” I thought about it and for the first time i realized that I have a very vivid memory of my own toilet training.

I remember when i was just little, it was my first time to defecate in the toilet without any support from an older family member. I saw my father coming out from my room and I proudly told him, “Pa, tumae akong mag’isa. Ako na rin ang nagsuot ng shorts ko.” (Pa, I defecated all by myself. I even put on my own pants without any help)I remember him smiling at my pants, which was worn inside out.

He then replied, “eh naglinis ka ba ng pwet mo?” (Did you clean your ass?).

“Ay oo nga pala. Ayun pala, nalimutan kong maglinis ng pwet.” (Oh yeah. That’s it, i forgot to wipe my ass.)

I smiled dreamily at the window as the last dose of nostalgia faded out from my mind. i then woke up Leslie and told this to her. She was possitively entertained and told me her own story.

She said when she was little her mom used to deworm her every 6 months. She said, “Magigising na lang akong may malamig sa pwet ko. Tapos hihilain ni mama ko ng mag isa yung parang spaghetti.” (I’ll just woke up one morning with something cold in my ass. Then my mom will completely pull out the spaghetti-like object.) We both laughed and I said that parents will definitely do all the icky stuff just for their own children. She agreed and went back to sleep.