Archive for February, 2006

NO WAY!

Posted in Anything Sexy on 25 February 2006 by Richmond

i am playing a game with my classmate clarise… we were actually counting how many time our profiles here on friendster were viewed (LAST DECEMBER MY PROFILE WAS VIEWED 187 TIMES LAST JANUARY IT WAS 293)… the higher scorer wins…

to make the story short, as a strategy, (this give my friends a feeling of curiosity) and make them view my profile, i always post in the bulletin board how many times i was viewed…

today… one of the people on my list, KRISTINE was her name, posted this on bulletin..

Profile Viewed: 754 times since 02/01/06

that cannot be possible… clarise always receives five or six messages from unknown people and yet she has never win a game from me… (clarise is really pretty fyi).. that's why i couldn't believe it… is kristine cheating? i dunno… does she view her own profile? i cant tell… but 754 times, i daresay, that is impossible..

this kristine's photo by the way..

kristine
and this is clarise's  photo..

 clacla

 

now the issue… who's hotter?

santong paspasan… a story of love

Posted in Family Affair, Humor, Nostalgia on 19 February 2006 by Richmond

they say that first love never dies… what i should say is, a great cheesey romance will always survive. it will live through the worst and most violent storms and calamities and even through the trecherous consequence of aging- that is forgetfulness…

hear my granny’s love story..

if you would ask me a single word to describe my garandmother, i should say the perfect word would be… VAIN. you cannot blame me if i describe her as that… since i grew up seeing her comb meticulously her long, coconut oiled, ashen hair and apply those baby powder on her face…

her long well-maintained hair, together with her white complexion and pointed nose (which she inherited, unfortunately we didnt, from her spanish ancestors) were the only memories of the beauty that was replaced by her wrinkled skin and stooping figure… (and of course her teeth were still pearly white and complete)…

her beauty that she once bragged has since long been gone and so was her memory…

one time, she told us about her favorite son’s children… she told us that they were all girls but one… but actually, they were 7 boys and a girl…

alzheimer’s disease? hmm… i cannot tell you. my parents didnt have the chance to take her to a especialist, not that they tried… but even through her memory’s illness, sickness, ailment (i cannot find the proper word), she can still vividly retell her love story…

she said that her first love and boyfriend was not my grandfather. but because she is pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, alluring, goodlooking, cute, hot, and all the synonyms, she still had a lot of suitors. and one of these was my grandfather- julian.

she did not dare set her eyes upon any of these guys since she was deeply in love with her boyfriend..

my grandpa saw that he has no chance to win. but his burning passion finally took over him and made him make a very bold move…

since he was a rich man from way up morth in ilocos, he was not afraid to commit crimes.. that is how they are in ilocos, right?

no im not telling you that he murdered my granma’s boyfriend. he just kidnapped my grandmother.

YES HE DID!!

“by hook or by crook”, this must have been my grandfather’s motto. he kidnapped my grandmother and ran with her to pangasinan, since my grandma didnt love him, he forced her to marry him in there…

she was devastated that day… she cried for her life… she wept for her love… and she mourned for her future…

but there was nothing she can do. my grandfather was a friend of the priest. since she acquired the naive and helpless characteristics of old fashioned Filipina (it was the trend of her time… to be demure), she said yes, with a great sob, to him on their wedding day…

months passed, but her real boyfriend did not lose hope until he found her… he knocked on her door telling her this;

“iwanan mo na sya… kahit na may nangyari na sa inyo, tatanggapin pa rin kita..” (“leave him now… even if something has already happened between the two of you, i will still accept you with open arms..”).

but my granny bitterly refused.. she claimed that she cannot allow herself to marry two men… (told’ya she’s old-fashioned).

and she again went back to her room to cry… and maybe curse my wretched grandfather (who i am so proud with).

she would tell us her most treasured story repetitively… whenever we sense that she is being upset or is losing her temper, we would ask her to tell her this… and she will be there recalling her uhm… romance to us with great gusto. her ancient face wil be then lit up by her warm smile.

we didnt dare ask her if she later on fell inlove with our grandfather…

the evidence is clear (she had a lot of children)… anyway, this was the only set of memory that she can accurately remember until she died at the age of 82…

“o ang pag ibig… pag nanasok sa puso ninuman, hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang..”

we were caught on cam… the shame… the shame… argh!

Posted in Anything Sexy, Humor, School Affairs on 17 February 2006 by Richmond

now, she finally got what she was asking for… OUR PART TWO.

remember the girl who had “her first time with me”? well, she already got the sequel of the thing that she was really, really dying about…

as what you might remember (if you have been reading my blog since then), she told me the previous year how much she enjoyed our little adventure in the grocery store…

she told me how much i made her feel “so high” and how much she anticipates for the second time that we’re going to do it…

last january, she asked me that again… while we were shooting our supposedly midterm exam film documentary in philippine history…

she said, in her sooper-dee-dooper icy voice, “erm, have you finally made up Joi your mind?” she shooked her eyelashes a couple or three times, then she gave me again that daring and almost suffocating smile..

but again, i was clueless..

“what are you talking about? i already made the script and it is final..” i insisted, thinking that she was talking about her script in the MTV that we’re doing. she is our VJ…

“no, not that one, silly” now she was talking in a sooper-dee-dooper exaggerated know-it-all voice.. she was talking as if that was the most obvious thing on earth, that i was too stupid that i didn’t even get her message..

“then what?” i asked, perplexed..

“well remember the first time when we…” she didn’t have to finish the sentence, i already know what she was talking about..

“no way”, i said, remember the last time when we do it? man, everyone was talking about us… the shame.. the shame…”

” i was just actually wondering if we can do it again, you see, with these cameras and film paraphernalia, i am really thinking of taping us doing it…”

“WHAT?!” i screamed in disbelief… i know that she is always game and i proved it the last time when we’re in that store… but now… she wanted us to be taped.. “no way! are you insane..?”

“c’mon, just for today, anyway, our professor will be the only one who’s bound to watch our docu… don’t tell me you’re chicken… what did i say again? er.. CHICKEN?”

that’s it… NOBODY can call me a chicken…

so next thing i knew… the whole class was watching us… watching HER SECOND TIME WITH ME….

how do i palpate thee? let me count the ways…

Posted in Health, Humor, School Affairs on 14 February 2006 by Richmond

we just had our return demonstration about TESTICULAR SELF EXAMINATION and BREAST EXAMINATION… (purrrfect for the occassion (valentine’s), isn’t it? lol). boys and girls were paired to each other, after the boys do the testicular self examination, the girls will then take their turn to palpate the boys… then vice versa with the breast self examination, (joking) of course we didn’t do that… we used dummies… nevertheless, since i am now knowledgeable about the subject, i think i ought to teach them to you…

HOW TO DO THE TESTICULAR SELF EXAMINATION?

Blog1. stand infront of the mirror… check for any swelling on the scrotal area…
2. examine each testicle… place the index and the middle fingers under the testicle with the thumb placed on top. roll the testicle gently.note the size, shape, and tenderness- DONT BE ALARMED IF ONE OF THE TESTICLES IS SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN THE OTHER- THIS IS NORMAL.
3. find the epididymis. dont mistake this as a suspicious lump. cancerous lumps are ussually found on the side of testicles but sometimes up on the front. lumps on the epididymis are not cancerous.
4. if you foind a lump, see a doctor. the abnormality could not be  cancer; it may just be an infection.

HOW ABOUT THE PENIS?
1. inspect the skin… if not yet circumcised, retract the foreskin. this is essential for the detection of chancres and carcinomas.
2. the glans- check for wounds or scars. pinch the tip if there are some discharges…
3. palpate the shaft of the penis between your thumb and first two fingers. note the tenderness
or indurations or swellings….

HOW TO DO THE BREAST SELF EXAMINATION?

Klklk1. do this one week after menstruation.
2.  in front of the mirror, with hands on the side, observe the skin color, size and symmetry of the breast.
3. raise arms then compare the changes… look for the shape, irregularities, wrinkles and inverted nipples…
4. perform the ways of palpstion
(a.) wedge-
palpate from top to the nipple then to the upper side part to the nipple, side to nipple, lower side to the nipple until you finish the process….
(b.) vertical-
palpate from the upper side nearest to your armpit then palpate downward, then upward then downward do this until you’re on your cleavage…
(c.) circular-
palpate the sides circularly(counter or clockwise)… then palpate a little bit nearer to the nipple… then a little bit nearer gain… until your done.
after doing all of these, press the nipple between the thumb and index finger for any discharges…
5. lie down and relax..
6. repeat the procedure… put  the trochanter at the back of the shoulder opposite the breast you are examing..
7. note for lumps..

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Posted in Pinoy Affairs on 12 February 2006 by Richmond

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